not only am I funny but I have nice titties too

alabasterbones:

i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice 

ethelreds:

ppl who think hans was the first disney case of a secretly evil handsome lover clearly don’t remember how paolo betrayed lizzie mcguire

slaycinder:

jpgay:

i hate when a more attractive person has a crush on the same person i do

It’s like performing in a talent show and finding out that Beyonce is going on before you